A bundle of Sacrifice !! The Divine Union of Death !!

[Fawzia Gulsha]

The sunsets and the sun rises for another day to continue .. misery..death and pain... Visions, Insights.. Paralyze you.. I wonder whats now as I see new things. Great souls of the past.. dead soul ( May God rest the soul in peace).. My head spinning with tears rolling down..lifeless.. A calling again.. The Divine says a lot yet says nothing.. I ask the Divine why me ?? Where have i gone wrong !! I see a lot.. I ask .. all answered.. I am speechless.. stunned.. jolted.. tears breaking me down..shattered..my heart sinking further.. I rush to the bath tub , immerse my head under the tap, the water above my head.. the tears in my eyes.. I can feel a heavy feeling deep inside my heart and feel my life and breath leaving me as again I run back home to seek answers. Iam home as I meet the Divine Mother.. with my silence..yet tears ask a million questions !!

Where have I gone wrong ? Is this the same gift .. as I finally accepted the gift with great sorrow but unwrapped it to find the gift was further filled with dirt and muckier than before.. Why such a horrible gift of death ?? I run towards the courtroom.. I scream and ask the Divine to call all the angels, prophets , the holy saints of the past.. to answer why was I forced to accept this one !

The beginning was forced, I refused but yet my tears in vain.. I accepted.. Yet could not unwrap.. I wept bitterly.. But when i unwrapped I saw it was worst than what I thought. It was dirt.. and muck wrapped in a neat cover.. but slowly it was bad to worst.. I wished to be no more on earth or the sky.. I wished I be crushed to be crushed with no sign ever.. I sat in the centre of the Divine Court.. All summoned by the Divine.. I asked the Divine " Today I seek justice.. as I am not wrong..yet punished.. You have stripped me of all i had, yet I did not complain.. You raped me again and again in my journey of life with grief, pain and sorrow..yet I said nothing.. You gave me endless list of work which had no time..no sleep.. I gallopped until I no more could, and fell down.. You wept and pressed my feet feeling sorry for me.. again you made me gallop.. I died yet did not complain.. everytime with tears, lifeless i smiled and asked you if you were happy.. You clapped your hands in pride and kissed me.. loved me all the time.. I seek justice if every great soul here ever was Divine in their mission.. The injustice which has come to me is a reflection of injustice from the untold stories of a shrine. I call the great saint and ask why ?? I plead and stand up at once and scream that if ever justice is been the journey of the holy.. the injustice towards me will be the destruction and the diminishing of the holy tomb and the shrines.. The Dome will break open and justice should be given to me...The Divine has reasons yet quiet ...

I kneel and break down to Mother " You protected me.. I felt this was true love.. you promised me the heavens of roses and told me the best yet to come.. Was this the best ??

Today I seek justice here in the Court of the Divine as I need answers for this. This was the last of the gift I could ever have received and today I am stripped off that too. I see no meaning to continue.. I demand justice or you may take my breath away.. I seek to die or I seek to be confined in the darkness of another world..unheard or unseen... I wish to not go back I need justice.. I see no reason to continue.. I see no protection but see myself raped to save another.. This is all I deserve ?? Is this all i am worthy of ??
Who am I ?? Nothing to you !!

Take me away as now i have darkness ahead of me.. All my brightness stolen away and I am withered away as the dried leaves .. I see my eyes closing..I am tired ...
White light illuminates from within my body..and the Divine says I am given more than what was taken.. I am all in all to her .. I am the most loved angel and i am her inside and outside.. I am her soul .. I am her child.. I am her heart.. yet i am nothing as I don't see or feel any.. I feel I am a bundle of sacrifice and sacrifice all in all to her..

I wish not to be the chosen one.. I wish to be wished.. I wish reality ..I have no more wish left.. I have never lived.. !!

[John]

hey nice